The Hyundai Nuvis: It's Pretty Damn Cool

It looks like Hyundai's got a few fresh ideas.

The 11th concept car penned by Hyundai's California Design Center in Irvine is called the Nuvis. Sporting gullwing doors, the Nuvis is noteworthy for two reasons: First, its hybrid drivetrain will find its way into the next-generation Hyundai Sonata, and second, Hyundai says the concept's styling hints at what the Santa Fe's replacement could look like.

I must admit that I don't know about much cars, but this one sounds pretty cool. I like the gull-wing doors and the big entrance to the back seat. I've had a two door before and it was always a pain for my passengers to get back there.

"The large gullwing doors open to a luxurious 4-seat cabin with a "cascading" floor and ambient blue lighting. The seat fabric is made from 100-percent reclaimed soda bottles, while the seatbelts were made by Harveys Original Seatbeltbags (they make handbags out of seatbelts); Harveys also provided two matching handbags for the Nuvis."

I'm not sure about the seat fabric being from bottles, but it sounds "environmental". Still, the best part is that it's a parallel hybrid. That's cool.

"...the Nuvis can be driven in all-electric mode, gasoline-engine-only mode as well as any combination thereof. Engine management software automatically shuts off the gasoline engine when the Nuvis comes to a stop, improving overall fuel mileage and providing zero emissions, while Hyundai's Integrated Starter Generator (ISG) restarts the engine once pressure is applied to the accelerator pedal."

This concept video -while a little overdramatic and blue- sold me.



Did you see that steering wheel? That's sweet. On a side note, did one of the guys in the video pronounce "Hyundai" (현대) as "Hundai" (헌대)? I guess it's better than Hun-DYE (헌다이) as it so often is in America. I'm still not sure why they didn't spell is Hyundae from the beginning. It would have saved some trouble. But, I guess it's the same as the name issue -any effort will suffice.

They did manage to add an extremely useless high-tech bragging point component to the car's computer system.

The Nuvis's instrument panel streams information throughout the cabin, with passengers able to access each other via Methode Electronics TouchSense technology that links all four seats; after all, why go to the trouble of actually talking to one another?

This is a great time for Hyundai to introduce a new concept like this. Aside from the recession, they obviously have America's attention and should take advantage of it and keep on riding the wave.

Not that you care, but my wife and I bought new bicycles today. They're foldable and totally sexy.

Asian-Americans Must Adopt English Names -OR- Rep. Betty Brown is a Racist

At least that's what a conservative Texas lawmaker wants.

AUSTIN — A North Texas legislator during House testimony on voter identification legislation said Asian-descent voters should adopt names that are “easier for Americans to deal with.”

The comments caused the Texas Democratic Party on Wednesday to demand an apology from state Rep. Betty Brown, R-Terrell. But a spokesman for Brown said her comments were only an attempt to overcome problems with identifying Asian names for voting purposes.

The exchange occurred late Tuesday as the House Elections Committee heard testimony from Ramey Ko, a representative of the Organization of Chinese Americans.

Ko told the committee that people of Chinese, Japanese and Korean descent often have problems voting and other forms of identification because they may have a legal transliterated name and then a common English name that is used on their driver’s license on school registrations.

Names that are "easier for Americans to deal with", huh? By making this statement she is essentially classifying what is and isn't "American".This line in the sand is dangerously alienating to huge groups of Americans.

Does she see American as a white country full of Jones', Smiths', Williams' and this guy?



Cause this is how I see it. (And yes, that is from California Dreams.)



Last year alone, half of the new citizens in the US were Hispanics -mostly from Mexico, Cuba and El Salvador. Does that mean they need to alter their names as well? Of course it doesn't. That would cost her the Latino vote.

There is nothing easy about pronouncing names from around the world. Sometimes you get it right and sometime you don't, but just because you can't say it accurately, doesn't give mean THEY should change their name to accommodate your ignorance.

Personally, I don't like it when my students (especially adults) take English names. I know a lot of them see it as a nickname while their mothers spend hours online trying to figure out which one is good enough or popular enough, but your name is your name.

My name is George and in Korean it is written 조지 and pronounced "Jo-ji". Do I get upset when my name is pronounced like this? No.I understand where I am. I know it's a little uncomfortable for Koreans to make the "R" sound when saying my name. I'm not offended though. The Asian-American community is not going to be upset if their name is pronounced a little incorrectly, but making them change it under the guise of voter identification should not be an option.

Take the immortal Kim Yu-na for instance.



Her name is 김연아 which should be written and pronounced as Yeon-ah, but most people in fact pronounce it 김유나 or Kim Yu-na. She has been called Yu-na Kim over and over again, yet is not bothered by it. My brother-in-laws name is 김영승 or Kim Young-seung, but when my family was over here, they called him Kim Young-song. Did he care? Not at all. In fact, he was happy that they were trying.

Ultimately, this Texas lawmaker is gunning for voters in a state that is filled with ethnic diversity and racial tension. She's stoking the fire here and decided to throw the Asian-American community under the bus (again) since they have long been considered "Natural Republicans" and are a sure thing. (Not true by the way.)

She really displayed here intelligence with one of her closing statements.

"Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?” Brown said.

Really? Is that what the Chinese-Americans wanted? They wanted people to learn Chinese so everyone can properly pronounce Chinese names? What a racist c**t.

Korean Cops and Traffic Laws for Expats: Some Advice

I'd like to offer some advice to any expats out there who also have a scooter, motorcycle or even a car in the form of a simple story.

One of the powers of being a motorized bike driver in Seoul is the ability to ignore all traffic laws. The unstated rule among us is that if it's clear, go. It's certainly not allowed by the law, nor is it safe, but the bike culture here is based on speed and efficiency (a trait that many facets of Korean life lack). Most of the drivers out there are delivery drivers who carry huge loads and packages on the back of their bikes and a speedy arrival translates to more income.

I always laugh when I'm sitting on my scooter in the middle of these leather clad delivery road warriors. They're always smoking and are usually filthy looking. I, on the other hand, am much cleaner, listening to "Take My Breath Away" and wearing a suit. I look pretty damn out of place, so I laugh. The only other motor scooterists in suits are the entry-level guys who can't afford a car yet.

To the story...

The other day, I was waiting at an intersection for a green light that never seemed to come. My fellow drivers were only adding to my impatience by constantly revving their engine as they inched closer to running the light. Finally, the coast was clear and we all ran the light. That's usually how I judge it. If they go, I try to blend into to the mix and dash across the intersection. Most of the time, we're in no real danger, but if even if we were, we certainly wouldn't we give it a second thought. That's what we do.

As free or innocent as we usually feel, this time the police, who were literally hiding in the bushes, did not seem to agree. They had set up little red-light trap. Since I have a scooter, I have quicker acceleration than most motorcycle deliver guys, so I was leading the back (which I imagine looks equally as funny). The fuzz emerged from the shrubs and darted into the street waving batons, directing us to the side on the road. I thought about ignoring the officer's orders, but decided it would be best to pull over and see what they had to say.

I stopped the bike, pulled out the key and waited to be questioned and, I presumed, ticketed. An officer who looked like he was in his mid-forties approached me and asked me to remove my helmet. Up until this point, he assumed I was a Korean man. He was prepared for that, so when I took off my helmet, he was noticeably shocked. It totally threw him off his game. He paused and just started at me. After an awkward 30 second love-stare, he began speaking...in Korean.

He tried to make it simple for me by speaking only in nouns with no verbs or anything "tricky".

"운전 면허증(drivers license)."

I knew what he had asked for. Simple context was more than enough. I understood, but did I want him to know that?

"뭐라고" I responded.

He said it again.

This time I just shrugged and pretended that I didn't understand a word he was saying. In frustration, he walked over to discuss the situation with his fellow officers. I watched them out of the corner of my eye. He was trying to find someone who spoke English. Besides the fact that they were busy dealing with other angry drivers, I could tell that none of them did. I don't think the Academy requires TOEIC scores.

He walked back over to me. He was looking at my license plate, or at least where my license plate is supposed to be. He pointed at it and said something I actually couldn't understand.

I shrugged.

Again because context is quite helpful in tricky situations, I fully understood what he was trying to say.I assume it was, "Where is your license plate? You should have a license plate!"

I shrugged.

After a few minutes of silent frustration, he looked at me and told me to carry my drivers license.

I shrugged.

"GO!" he fired back.

I did.

My first thought was that if this was America, I would have gotten a ticket and my lack of communication skills would have only made it bigger. No American police officer would do such a thing, but this guy did.

Either way, this officer had options. He could have found an English speaker if he wanted to. He could have asked for my ID card and tried to give me some sort of fine. He could have pushed harder for my drivers license or plate, but he didn't. It was easier to let me go than to go through the trouble. It boils down to the fact that these officers are underpaid and lazy. On top of that, he's not a Gangnam cop, so bribery is off the table, so it was just easier for him.

What did I learn?

Pretending not to understand a word (although a little embarrassing) got me out of a ticket and maybe more. Not having license plate on the bike (it's in my storage compartment under my seat) made it impossible to track. I was essentially a unregistered dude that somehow ascended to a level of greatness where traffic laws don't apply.

My advice to other expat motorcycle drivers?

Take off your license plates and play dumb. Forget all the "perpetuating a stereotype" or "being rude" talking points and play the game. It pays off.

Will this work everytime? No, but I assure you it won't hurt.

Dokdo and Dry Cleaning

While a little over the top, I admit that it makes picking up dry cleaning (the first time) a tad more interesting.

"...last year, when Chang-Duck Jeon, president of the Korean Dry Cleaners Association, assumed the role of publicist: He ordered 250,000 “Dokdo bags” from a South Korean manufacturer and solicited orders from the approximately 3,000 Korean-owned dry cleaners in the city. About 100 of them ended up stocking the bags."

I'd like to see Dokdo advertisments on condoms, tampons and toothpaste personally and, judging by the logic used to here, I just might get my wish.

He came up with the idea in July, during one of the semiregular flare-ups over the islands, which are now administered by South Korea. Mr. Jeon could not remember exactly what had set him off, but that month, the Japanese Education Ministry asked teachers and textbook publishers to make sure Japanese students understood their country’s claim to the islets.

Yes! Dispute equals dry cleaning bags!

Korea Times: Tap Water Blues by George Hogan

Sorry for the delay these days. 14 hours of teaching is hard. I did manage to squeeze in the time to submit my KT article this week...

They actually printed one that I sent in a week ago, so I guess I'll have another one this week. Maybe not.

Here it is...

Korean baseball just isn't that good...

They might have won the Olympics, but they lost to the Padres.

South Korea's baseball squad suffered a 10-4 loss to San Diego Padres, a Major League team, at an exhibition game Wednesday, dimming its hopes for the second round of the World Baseball Classic slated to begin Saturday, according to Yonhap News Agency.

I don't like Korean baseball. There's way too much scoring, horrid pitching, swaths of errors and overly excited non-fans who only cheer because they want to be part of a chant.

**Update: Korea also lost to the Dodgers.

"Green" Koreans Arrested (because of Americans)

I don't condemn, nor do I condone these guys, but still am preplexed by those who think using or doing drugs in Korea is a good idea. These guys were asking for it if you ask me.

Four men were arrested Thursday for planting and smoking marijuana in their apartment and sharing ``tips'' online. Two others were booked for buying their plants for consumption.

Not the smartest growers, but at least they were wise enough to include an American in the project, so they can pass the blame later. Furthermore, what kind of idiot teacher would get involved with these goons knowing they were posting their methods on a blog?

Thirty-year-old Yeon and two others, including one American English instructor, shared his information and bought marijuana seed from Britain. They grew the plant in a closet on the veranda of his apartment in Haengdang-dong, Seoul, for five months and smoked the derived drug.

Would this have made the news if an American wasn't involved? I doubt it. Of the 1,170 Koreans arrested in 2007 on marijuana charges, I don't remember seeing anything in the paper.

Korean Soju Soars as American Beer Floors

Rather than my usually amazing in-depth analysis, I found two articles that I wanted to mention. As the economic recession worsens, more and more people choose to tighten their belt and cut out some luxuries they deem unnecessary. For instance, my wife and I have started socializing less at bars and more at home and were surprised to discover how many others enjoyed doing that as well. (Drinking games anyone? We've been practicing.) Fortunately, our jobs are secure for now, so we're not that concerned yet, but since we plan to move to the US next year, the exchange rate is something that we do stress over.

Nonetheless, it's interesting to look at what industries remain "recession-proof". Most assume that in stressful times, the alcohol and tobacco industries will remain pretty steady if not more profitable. People get stressed, so they drink and smoke. Simple. In Korea, the trillion won ESL industry is one of the fastest growing
industries still, but it's certainly seeing signs of contracting as schools cut costs, suspend teacher pay and even close down. In fact, my KT article next week will address the issue of adult 1:1 English institutions and why they are especially having a hard time right now.

I digress (and plug), The Financial Times reported that in Korea, soju sales were jumping dramatically.

"Stung by the bitter winter and depressed by the flagging economy, South Korean businessmen head for the convivial glow of street tents where they order eels and chicken gizzards and drown their sorrows in soju, the national fire-water.

Soju sales are soaring and foreign companies are considering buying into one of the few Korean industries to relish the economic crisis."

I'm not sure I agree that most of the soju is being drunk in the tents, but it certainly helps illustrate the bleak state of the economy. I live on the main drag in Gangnam, so I get the opportunity to witness these guys a lot. I can say that they are certainly drinking more these days and since many of them are getting laid off (and hiding it from their family), I totally understand.

What I don't understand is the following statement.

"It's an energy drink for Koreans. When Koreans are in distress, they drink soju, then get up the next morning and work hard," Mr Ahn said. Contentious as it may sound, soju does have a reputation for not causing hangovers.

Yeah, first of all, it's contentious as hell and secondly, I have had many rough hangovers from soju. Call it what it is! They're stressed out. Don't give me this energy boost garbage. People are losing their jobs and he's painting soju as a cure-all. Now is not the time to stump for soju. It's a time for people to be working harder and not boozing, so they will remain productive at work. (And yes I am aware that a "productive Korean worker" is an oxymoron, but I stand by my statement.)Beer and wine are not doing so well in Korea either.

Wine bars were sprouting like bamboo shoots and dotted hip streets and back alleys. Now, with the economy tanking, people tightening their purse strings and the won losing value, they are going under in droves or opting for other lines of business, unable to make ends meet.

I've always thought that there were too many wine bars in Seoul anyways.

``This used to be a good business ― you get more from selling a decent bottle of wine than a dozen or more bottles of soju,'' said Choi, who says sales have dropped nearly 40 percent since the first half of last year.

``However, people are not buying good wine anymore and there are days when I don't even get five customers. I have to think about converting to selling beer, maybe even a grill joint for pork belly or baby octopus,'' he said

Then again, there are way too many pork belly joints as well. On side note (HT to GI Korea), US beef is still flying off the shelves just like it did when they started importing it last year RIGHT AFTER the mad cow hysteria subsided.

Things in the US seem to be fairing a little differently. Besides the fact that Americans wouldn't immediately turn drinking Budweiser into an act of patriotism, alcohol sales seem to be going the opposite direction than in Korea.

From 538:



Rather than pretend to know anything about this trend, I'll let you read it from Nate.

As you can see, there has generally not been much of a relationship between alcohol purchases and changes in GDP -- the correlation is essentially zero. Nor have alcohol purchases historically been any kind of lagging or leading indicator.

But something was very, very different in the fourth quarter of 2008. Sales of alcohol for off-premises consumption were down by 9.3 percent from the previous quarter, according to the Commerce Department. This is absolutely unprecedented: the largest previous drop had been just 3.7 percent, between the third and fourth quarters of 1991.

But if beer is no longer doing well (I guess we'll have to take a look at Q1 of 2009 to confirm), then what is?

It's not just beer, either. Sales of jewelry and watches were off by 7.2 percent in the fourth quarter, the third-largest drop ever recorded. Casino gambling receipts are down about 8.5 percent from a year ago, far and away the largest decrease ever over four consecutive quarters.

What's doing well? The movies. The movies, also historically a recession-proof industry but not a counter-cyclical one, are doing terrifically well. Motion picture theaters increased their revenues by 10.9 percent in the fourth quarter, according to the Commerce Department. But the movies are not typically seen as extravagant. You don't feel guilty after purchasing a movie ticket; you feel kind of wholesome.

There you have it. I have to wonder that if Americans had something as similar, acceptable and pervasive as soju then it too would booming. I do think that Korea's business/drinking culture is a big part of this and the lame "It makes Koreans work harder" hogwash doesn't fly with me.

Is it acceptability or availability that makes Koreans consume more?

Korea Wants Foreign Media to Lie

I think the Golden Rule should be applied here. If you want the foreign media to play nice, then it's time the Korean media to stop cruxifing foreigners every chance it gets.

``Korea has fared well compared to other economies despite a plunge in global demand,'' Han told a weekly Cabinet meeting. ``Korea's current account recorded a surplus of $330 million in February, an optimistic sign that the economy is doing quite well amid a worldwide recession. However, such positive aspects are often ignored in media reports,'' he said.

Breen puts it best.

``If the government considers reporting on Korea to be misleading, it should improve its communications rather than criticize the media.''

Do unto to others, Korean media...

Korea and Western Bands

Honestly, I don't know much about the band "Travis" besides that they're Scottish and played in Seoul last week. I didn't go, but I listened to the song "Closer" a few minutes ago and was totally bored. How many more generic bands from the UK do we need making this type of Radiohead throwback music?

My distaste for the sound aside, I do like that they came to Korea and that Korean fans were totally into it. Just like Jason Mraz (another one I don't care for), Korean fans seem to be catching on to Western music that isn't just a choreographed dancing/singing group.

Still, one of the problems with Western music in Korea is found in the first line of the KT article.

"Paper airplanes flew around the packed Olympic Hall, as Scottish rock band Travis performed ``Closer" in the middle of their concert in Seoul, Sunday evening."

The show was on a Sunday night. Sure, it was packed and that's great, but the timing of so many of these Western attractions is awful. I remember seeing that Prodigy played in Jamsil last year...at 3pm on Thursday.

My thoughts on this is that if Korea wants to start attracting more Western acts here and become a destination for non-Asian tourists, they are going to have to open up and when it comes to music, they need to copy Japan.

Take a look at this site called Jambase.com. I used this in the States all the time. It used to just have jamband dates on there, but now they have pretty much everything.

Here's part of Japan's list:



There are over 100 shows in the next two months. On there are nearly 60 popular western bands ranging from "Of Montreal" and "Beck" to "Bad Religion", "Sum 41" and "Dragonforce". Now, I don't know/like any of those bands, but Japan has also hosted many of my favorites during my three years in Asia.

Here's Korea's list:



So what is Korea doing wrong?

To be continued later, but the member's of Travis know part of the battle.

"We'll be going soon, but we'll be back soon. We'll tell all our friends and other bands that they have to come here, too. See you soon," Healy said."

I have no doubt that they'll come back. It was a sucess for them. The question is will others?

Korean Fortune Telling

There’s a cafe near my place that offers over-priced coffee, lavish furniture and, at this particular place, free fortune telling. The outside is overly garrish. The bright red paint and gold trim distracts you from the 1950's American theme, which is totally lost upon most customers. Once you find your seat, a waiter comes to your table, takes your order and then presents you with a list of fortune telling options. We could choose from tarot cards, palm reading and "Saju" or "사주" (which uses your birth year, month, day and hour to predict why you’re so darn special). We opted for the latter.

Ten minutes later our coffee arrived and shortly thereafter, a chubby man in his mid-thirties approached the table, opened his collapsible chair and plopped down. He started by asking 고s birth information and then referred to a old, tea-stained book that was filled with ancient Chinese charts. It was in these charts that this man told us what I already knew: that this type of thing is what douche bags do for money. He tried his best to sound official, but it was just a waste of time. He told me that I don’t have any women in my life and that I had to marry a Korean woman because I couldn’t find a woman in the States. Luckily, I have been in Korea long enough to realize that this is a stereotype of foreigners, so I didn’t take much offense. He also told me that I needed more sleep, should exercise more and eat better. So, he told me things that ALL people need to improve about themselves and that makes him “gifted”. Garbage. It reminds me of that South Park episode where they are making fun of John Edward. “I’m getting an “em” or a “na” sound”.

South ParkWed 10pm / 9c

Psychic Showdown

Joke of the Day
Stand-Up Comedy

Free Online Games
More Funny Videos

(Full Episode here)

고 seemed to like it though. Of course, she says she doesn’t believe in the stuff, but was jazzed enough to try it again after we left the café. In Gangnam, these little tents are all over the place. There are at least 8 separate places I can go to have my fortune read in my neighborhood alone. So again, we braved the cold and set out to find another place. I guess we were going on a cross-checking mission to see if the facts and methods of the two snake oil salesmen were similar. I have always protested going to these places. Some of my students go to these places and the information they receive dictates their decision-making heavily (especially among women). Before this, I had always imagined that 고 and I would go in there and the little racist woman would look at me, make some bogus claim about how bad I am or that we’re not a good match and that that info would be stored somewhere deep in 고s psyche, only to come out during an argument. Of course, that was when we were only dating. Now, I don’t care as much. I’ve already hooked her.

I digress……This specific tent was quite small and sported a big sign that read “사주 3,000원”. Fair enough. We opened the plastic zipper door and entered the gas heated booth which, of course, reeked of propane. I tried to unzip the door and vent a little after we sat down, but was quickly corrected by the wily fortune teller. The fumes were so thick and acrid that my eyes were suffering as much as my lungs. She started the same way as the last guy: birth year, month etc… I tried to look as pleasant and friendly as possible in hopes of getting a positive review.

She started with 고. She said that 고 wouldn’t work with a Korean guy, might obstruct people who own their own business and will be better off living outside of Korea. I guess I should have taken that as an endorsement, but it really sounded like a differently worded version of the “can’t hack it” stereotype that the other guy said about me.

Then she moved onto me. She started with my vast intellect and other equally schmoozy traits, but then went right in for the kill. She also claimed that and I quote (and translate), “You do not and have not ever had a girl in your life.” I asked her to expound a little more and what she said actually made a little sense. My wife and I did a little reflecting and discovered that maybe they’re not too far off. I prefer male friends. She was not saying that I’ve never had women who were important to me, but that since I have only one woman who is important to me, I tend to push all other females away. This is true. If I think about it, I have forged most of my close friendships with males. This works for with my marriage as well. My wife, for instance, is a guy’s girl or a man’s woman. She does better with males than females and since most of my friends are males, it’s a good match. Still, this woman didn’t know that. She was just going for the “can’t hack it” stereotype and luckily I filled in the gaps myself.

The woman also said I would be rich by 41 and that 고 and I needed to have start having kids next year. I like the rich part, but there is no chance of babies though and I’m pretty sure that we both agree that 3 years will the best time to start popping them out.

Most Koreans, when asked (by me), say that they don’t believe in this type of thing. I think most Americans would say the same thing. But you’re telling me that in Gangnam alone, hundreds of people are lining up at these places, waiting for an hour in the cold, just to hear something that they don’t believe in? If I were to look at the demographics of those in line, I would say that 85% of them are under 30 and most of them are with their significant other. They are there looking for something and it’s not “just fun” as I so often hear.

Which brings me to my final thought: These fortune-telling women swing a lot of power --much more than they know. And in a nation where people are searching for reasons NOT to like the person they’re on a blind date with, I have to wonder just have many relationships these women have ruined.

Oh and by the way, it cost of 20,000원. What a douche.

Geoje-Karatsu Tunnel is a Winner for Korea: Part 1

The debate has raged for the past thirty years. Experts, nationalists and ordinary citizens on both sides of the Sea have offered supporting and dissenting research, projections, and opinions. Political posturing has overshadowed much of the debate as everyone imaginable has opined endlessly, questioning the feasibility of such a project. “Is it worth it?” “Will it be safe?” You name it, and it has been called into question. Well, it looks like those days are waning and, finally, plans are beginning to materialize and the question “Should Korea and Japan build a tunnel that links the two nations?” might just be answered.

In early January of this year, a research committee was tapped to start drawing up “specific construction plans” for the project. The proposed route would connect Geoje Island near Busan to Karatsu in northwestern Japan by an undersea tunnel (209km). It would be the longest undersea tunnel in the world and one of the most impressive engineering feats of the 21st century. (The Channel Tunnel is only 50km long)



For many Koreans though, the thought of such a connection invokes memories and emotions of a dark and violent past under Japanese colonial rule and under no circumstances would I ever suggest that those feelings are not justified. They are. This is understandably a very touchy and delicate issue which has clearly been reflected in its 30 years of rocky debate. I don't think comments like this are justified.

"...project's opponents say Korea would gain nothing from a tunnel, and it would only end up helping Japan advance into the continent. Choi Yeol, a professor of urban engineering at Pusan National University, said, "An undersea tunnel would add a Japan-size sphere of influence to the southeastern region of Korea. But Japan could extend its sphere to the Eurasian continent. That means the two countries would have disproportionate spheres of influence."

I do think, however, that bridging the two nations would not only set a course towards a more trustful relationship between the old foes, but would also diversify South Korea’s economy, ease trade costs, tourist industry and improve its image around the world.

Some say the project carries a 200 trillion won price tag and, considering the state of the economy right now, even discussing such plans smacks of irresponsibility. Others point out the absurdity of building an undersea tunnel in a hotbed of seismic activity is enough to scrap the entire plan. Both of those points are valid and will need to be addressed, but if the project is deemed feasible and safe, the benefits severely outweigh the drawbacks.

South Korea has tried tirelessly to push their current “Korean Sparkling” tourism campaign. Seoul is getting facelifts and feverishly vying for a larger share of the northeastern Asian tourist industry, but is still seeing very little fruit for their troubles. The industry in essentially centered around Seoul and, for many reasons, is simply not attracting a substantial amount of non-Asian tourists.

As of now, Korea is locked in a battle of trying to prove itself as a world tourist destination which is clearly demonstrated by the slew of sales angles presented in their promotional commercials (here, here and here). The tunnel could potentially provide some direction. If the tunnel is built, Korea will no longer have to focus its resources on introducing Korea to the world’s tourists. Instead, they can appeal to the tourists who are already Korea-bound.

As we know, Japan is a well-established tourist destination and by easing access from Japan to Korea, it unlocks a passageway for tourists in Japan (as well as Japanese citizens) to come to Korea with little hassle. Not only would the headache and cost of air travel be eliminated, the lure of riding on the largest and most modern undersea tunnel would certainly be enticing enough that many tourists would certainly include a few days in Korea on their itinerary. And with the arrival city in Korea being somewhere other than Seoul, more opportunities for Korea to establish itself as a multifaceted tourist destination will be opened. Cities like Busan and Daegu will experience booms as well as smaller “unknown” cities all around the peninsula.

A properly managed influx of tourists is certain to have long-lasting effects on the nation’s image. This is one of the best ways Korea could maximize its exposure. By having a steady flow of tourists from around the world, Korea will have the opportunity to impress upon them just how modern, exciting and even business-friendly Korea has become. Gone will be the days when Korea must make its case as a vacation spot to the rest of world. All corners of the nation will become lively destinations and hotspots and as more people discover all that Korea has to offer, the government will finally start spreading its resources more evenly among its cities. Universities will open or move campuses, business would relocate their headquarters and finally Korea would become a country with more than one city.

The possibilities are endless and the advantages that Korea will receive from such a project would create positive ripples that none of us can fully predict. The battle ahead is still long and there will be a lot of political mudslinging and banter along the way, but I sincerely believe that Korea and Japan will come to an agreement, and that that will be a victory for this nation.

To be continued...

Foreigners...with HIV...Gone Wild!!!

Hide your children! Lock the doors! Barracade your home because there are FOUR uncaged foreigners somewhere in Korea that have HIV!!! And guess what? They're coming for you!!!

The Suwon Immigration Office said Tuesday it had been tracing the whereabouts of four foreigners who have been tested human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) positive.

Late last year, the office obtained names of 12 foreigners diagnosed with HIV positive, which could develop into Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS), from the Korea Center for Disease Control and Prevention (KCDC).

And who are these scumbags trying to infect the innocent Korean public?

For instance, a 36-year-old Uzbekistan woman, diagnosed HIV positive in 2006, was recently caught in Anseong, Gyeonggi Province, where she worked as a barmaid overstaying her visa. It has not yet been confirmed whether she had sexual relations with others during the period of time, according to police.

Of course, she did. She's a foreigner. And eventhough she looks a little old for her age...



...customers are lining up.

Korea tried to offer these renegades prison sentences or deportation health-checkups...

"But they failed to draw attention from foreigners mostly busy making money," a Gyeonggi government official said."

Typical foreigners.

So, what did we learn?

1) Korean's should be scared of most foreigners because even the government isn't sure who has AIDS.

2) Foreigners are sex-craved and hellbent on intentionally spreading diseases.

3) Foreigners don't care about their health so long as their making money.

Thanks Korea media.

X-Rated Film Released on Unsuspecting Koreans

It looks like "Shortbus" will get a shot at the Korean market afterall.

U.S. film "Shortbus," which had to go to the Supreme Court to fight the Korea Media Rating Board over a "restricted screening" rating, will go on general release next month. The KMRB said Thursday that "Shortbus" was rated R in a re-evaluation following the Supreme Court’s decision to throw out the "restricted screening" rating

The poor unsuspecting Korean population will get to witness the joys of "group sex and masturbation" in their very own theaters. But sadly, it will be Koreanized. Which...

"...covers up sexual scenes that are deemed grossly graphic."

Since many "adult" movies in Korea blur out a harmless ass, I'm not expecting too much except for a theater full of Korean's shouting "어떻게!" in unison.

Korean Students Love Marijuana

Not true, but flashy nonetheless.

It’s very foolish to do drugs in Korea. In fact, it's downright stupid. And if you gotta do it then at least wait until Korea is a memory. Between strict laws, witch-hunting Korean citizens and the risk of deportation, there is very little lure for the level-headed expats here. Still, some do it. For the average Korean citizen, the punishment is even worse both legally and socially.

In class this week, we're talking about drug laws, sentencing and a few other related topics, so today I started with a little open discussion about the perception of drugs in Korea, and marijuana was immediately brought up by one of the younger, “hipper” students. (Roboseyo has a funny little write up on his confusion with marijuana and the film “Marley and Me”.)

The student was speaking very openly about marijuana consumption in front of the class and even had to gall to ask me if I could assist him in his quest. I immediately told him to stop his inquisition, that that was not the aim of the discussion. I have no idea where one gets it anything in Korea, nor do I care to know. I don't want to deal with finger-pointing and he seemed to get the picture for about five minutes. But why was he so comfortable asking me in the first place?

When it comes to drugs, this man, like many of my students, has a very simplistic understanding of foreigners and foreign culture. Just as he was taught by mass culture, he believes most teachers are addicted to some sort of drug. The manner in which he was speaking to me resonated in stereotyped behavior and (outdated) drug-related colloquialisms. Having never been involved in any sort of Western counter-culture, he felt it was acceptable to ask for pot in front of an entire class while casually propositioning me to "travel to the US, get some marijuana and sell it to his friends in Hongdae". Why in the world would this guy ask such an outrageous thing in front of his peers? I was and still am baffled.

My theories:

1) He’s been indirectly exposed (not involved) to enough elements of Western counter-culture (probably television and film) that his curiosity now outweighs all of his naturally-honed Korean ability to fear all drugs.

2) He has such a warped idea of Western culture, from which he believes all of us to be involved with drugs and, since we are all addicted, it seemed acceptable to casually approach me in class as if he were simply asking for a higher grade. (Most likely)

3) He is a mole from one of these anti-foreigner groups and he’s trying to bait me.

4) Since he is the youngest student in the class (21), he is trying to play the role of the younger, rebellious youth that rejected society and blah blah blah…James Dean…blah.

5) He’s just a fucking idiot. (Also likely)

My guess? I think he’s a mixture of #2 and #5. Most Koreans think that all drugs are horrible and there is no difference between cocaine and marijuana. That view leads to alarmist reactions when they hear of drug use. Even an academic or legal discussion of drugs is not something I would recommend. But here’s this guy, trying to convince me that I would be rich if I smuggled dope in for his friends.

The other students in class were sheepishly smiling at his antics, but I’m certain that many of them were thinking that this guy is nuts and maybe a few of them were even considering calling the police. Alarmist yes, but this guy was asking for it.

I have since changed the topic for week to stupid Korean student's perception of what it means to be foreign.

Lesson one: Don't associate with douche bags.

Wisdom Tooth Removal...again

Two years ago, 고 got her two bottom wisdom teeth removed. And if you recall that, then you'll also remember that it was a very painful and long ordeal. Her cheeks swelled, her wounds got infected and there was even discussion that she might not be able to go with me on vacation to America. Luckily, she healed in time, but the memory lingers.

Well, today it's all coming back as she must return to get her top two taken out. We've got the ice packs, salt and luke warm water ready, but you never know. I imagine she'll be sleeping all day and I'll be putzing around on here.

Wish her luck...

Defected North Korean Artist

Here's an interesting read.

Sun Mu, who was trained to create posters and murals for the Communist government, is the first defector from the North to have won fame as a painter in the South by applying that same propagandistic style to biting parodies of the North Korean regime.

I would like to see the one described in this passage.

Sun Mu’s paintings have also depicted his own fearful journey across the river border into China in 1998, and the plight of a shackled North Korean defector who was repatriated to North Korea from the same Laotian prison where he himself was detained before proceeding on to Thailand and eventually to South Korea.

But he seems to be focusing on one of his others series'.

So far, however, his signature work has been the “Happy Children” series, with its relentlessly smiling North Korean youngsters. The smile has been variously interpreted by commentators as grotesque, a joke on the collectivism of North Korea, or a mask to hide the helplessness many North Koreans feel.

Here are a few of my favorites...



I especially like the baby drinking the unknown red liquid. It's titled "What are the feeding me? I think that one expresses his experiences in the North the best.

As he says, “They teach you how to smile that regimented smile — there’s a certain way to shape your mouth,” he said. “We children thought we were happy. We didn’t realize that our smile was fabricated and manufactured.”

Flush or Toss: Korea’s Challenge with Toilet Paper

It only takes a few weeks to realize that Koreans are very proud of the rapid development their nation underwent soon after the Korean War finally subsided. While walking around Seoul, it’s sometimes hard to imagine the carnage and violence that once engulfed the now bustling megalopolis. Each decade of the past sixty years has ushered in new waves of social, structural and technological modernity and Seoul, the city that I have now called home for three years, is undoubtedly destined to reach a newer and “greener” pinnacle in the near future. Current economic woes aside, there is nothing impeding further and grander development. That is, except for one thing.

This one thing is the only obstacle that must be overcome before any more apartments can be built, canals constructed or sidewalks repaired: Korean’s have got to stop putting soiled toilet paper in the trashcan. You see it everywhere. You could be in the finest restaurant in the ritziest part of town eating the most expensive Beluga caviar with a pearl spoon, but once you close that stall door behind you, the fine food, drinks and atmosphere quickly fade as you are faced with a bin full of filthy, used toilet paper. It immediately transforms an enjoyable dining (and bathroom) experience into one that is either rushed or outright unhealthy.

Like so many aging generations around the world, older Koreans have many “when I was your age” moments which are usually followed by a lighthearted chuckle or possibly, a sheepish smile. But if Korean bathrooms are the topic, this classic and usually playful expression is not fitting. Korean’s of all ages join in on the wipe and toss method without giving it a second thought. Why would they question it? That’s what their parents and grandparents did. That’s what they see in the bathrooms in schools, malls and public buildings. Those who use the wipe and toss method might not see anything particularly unclean about it. To others, however, there is.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m usually one of the first to stick up for the quirks of this nation, but sometimes the strength (or weakness) of my stomach overrides my loyalties. I’m surprised this practice didn’t disappear long ago and I honestly can’t think of a single plausible reason as to why the wipe and toss method is STILL used. Sure, Korea developed at a breakneck pace and there could be a few cultural hold-overs, but that isn’t an excuse. That pace allowed for contemporary infrastructure to develop. It allowed for the modernization of nearly every public work and plumbing was not left behind. In fact, Seoul is a member of the World Plumbing Council and even hosted the newly elected executive board which and I quote, “has worked closely together for the past six years on matters pertaining to education and training and the role plumbing plays in protecting the health and safety of people all over the world”.

From what I can gather, phase one is complete. Seoul has overcome most of their structural issues regarding plumbing. I’m not going to deny that thousands of buildings and homes scattered around the city might not be equipped with modern plumbing that can handle heavy loads, but it seems like that’s becoming less and less of an issue. The solution lies in the crumbled (or folded) tissue-filled hands of our gracious Korean hosts.

A few days ago in class, I was discussing the complexities of rapid modernization in Korea and the difficulties that some facets of Korean society experienced during that transformation. The conversation ventured into the world of tangible versus non-tangible culture and I asked if anyone (perhaps begging for the discussion) could think of any habits that existed today which seem “old-fashioned”. Low and behold, a brave student called the wipe and toss method into question. I immediately prodded the class in hopes of discovering who --if anybody-- used this method. Out of nineteen students, not one of them raised their hands. Either none of them were guilty or they realized that it’s a bit unsanitary.

The advances that this nation has made in the past sixty years are something that no one can deny. I have witnessed Korea change a lot in the short time in which I have been here and I am always thrilled to be a cheerleader when I see it worthy, but the wipe and toss has simply got to go. That, my friends, is the one of the few snags left that Korea has yet to tackle. And judging by their record, I’d only give it a few years until they overcome that as well. The next step is stocking the bathrooms with enough toilet paper that will last more than two hours.

Clinton to be named "Han Hi-sook"

Why Han Hi-sook?

The surname “Han,” meaning Korea, is derived from the Korean pronunciation of the letter “H” in the name “Hillary.” With the conferment of the surname, Clinton will become the founder of the “Sejong Han” family. Secretary Clinton is the first “Han” from “Sejong-ro” or Sejong Street, the main street in central Seoul where the U.S. Embassy is located.

How stupid.

The name “Hi-sook” is a combination of two separate Chinese characters. “Hi” stands for “Shining,” while “Sook” is for “Clear.” “We believe that these are the attributes that have led to the appointment of Hillary Clinton as the 67th U.S. Secretary of State. Her clear vision and political insight will make important contributions in setting the stage for peace on the Korean Peninsula,” added Suh.

What the hell are these guys talking about? It's just an excuse to give her a Korean name. Nothing more. Stop fluffing.

I'm not surpirsed though. Of course she would get her very own Korean name. I'm just waiting for her to make kimchi in a hanbok in Insadong while eating ddeok bokki with chopsticks, which of course, will be so "spicy".

Gray Hair

I guess it was only a matter of time until I found one. This morning, while inspecting my slowly growing beard, I discovered a gray hair. In fact, I noticed four white ones springing from my chin and cheek. I'm a little upset really because this is my first attempt at the beard and now it's marred by the appearance of these hairs. Only a few weeks ago I was making fun of my 31 year old friend who has a few gray ones in his beard and I'm even younger.

It's not that big of a deal, but I wonder how many are hiding in my light-brown (and in some light ginger-ish) hair. My mom is in her mid-fifties and still has the luxury of hiding a few in her locks. I guess I'd have to blame my dad. He started graying at thirty and now has a totally gray beard with salt and pepper hair.

We'll see what happens, but I'm going to keep it though. It'll be another thing for Koreans to look at.