Tuesday, July 08, 2008

"I Can't Believe I'm Losing to This Guy."

That is from the famed SNL Dukakis/Bush skit in the '88 election.

Will the media spin McCain's poor skills as an orator to his advantage by making him seem like he's just a regular guy? Will they actually try to use Obama's gift as a great speaker against him? Yes, they will.

I remember the last time they spun this story. We got George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush.

“I have set before the American people an energy plan, the Lex-eegton Project,” Mr. McCain said, drawing a quick breath and correcting himself. “The Lex-ing-ton Proj-ect,” he said slowly. “The Lexington Project,” he repeated. “Remember that name." In a town meeting in Cincinnati the next day, Mr. McCain would again slip up on the name of the Massachusetts town, where, he noted, “Americans asserted their independence once before.” He called it “the Lexiggdon Project” and twice tried to fix his error before flipping the name (“Project Lexington”) in subsequent references. "

Put that on top of his hand jabs and horribly uncomfortable smile and you have someone that is actually much worse than Bush.

Which brings me to what I imagine the debates to be.

Sam Donaldson (Kevin Nealon): Do you really think SDI, or Star Wars, will work? Do you really think it's possible to create a shield that would prevent any or all nuclear missiles from striking the United States?

George Bush (Dana Carvey): I'm glad you asked me that, Sam.. because tonight I can reveal something that's just been declassified. The key to SDI, to the whole concept, is a Time Machine. It's a beautiful idea. Let's say the Soviets launch a surprise attack, and a few of their missiles do get through our floating network of particle beam lasers. Then we use the Time Machine. We go back in time, before the surprise attack. It's defensive, it's clean, and it'll save our kids in the event of a Russian first strike. Now, who could be against that?

Diane Sawyer (Jan Hooks): Governor Dukakis?

Michael Dukakis (Jon Lovitz): Well, if such a Time Machine were possible, I'd like the vice-president to explain why we haven't been visited already by time travelers from the future. You can't tell me that responsible members of a future government of the United States wouldn't, with access to a Time Machine, come back to reverse some of the mistakes - cockamamie mistakes - made by this administration. Of course they would! This idea is ridiculous! Spending billions and billions on a Time Machine whose very existence defies logic is, in my mind, lunacy.

George Bush: Well, Mr. Massachusettes, Harvard Yard Braniac. You may prove to yourself that it's impossible, but I think I'm like most Americans who'd rather see a Time Machine with an American flag on the side, and not a hammer and sickle.

[ the audience applauds ]

I could go on. If you want to read the whole transcript then click here.


Harriet said...

Classic SNL! They hit the nail on the head so very often.