Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Jerry Watch: A stirring look inside the dark and mysterious world of green stripes". DAY ONE

I made sure to bring my camera today to see if Jerry was wearing a green striped shirt. It was a wild story.

I walked in the door and looked for him, but he was not to be found. I thought he might be sick or something, but the school had not been notified. That meant he was wondering the halls, trying to turn other kids on to the dark world of green stripes.

I called a quick teachers meeting to discuss the threat, but it was too late. The bell had already rang and, like the students, we have to go to class.

I nervously ascended the stairs; gun in one hand and camera in the other. I saw some stripes in the corner of my eye and shot wildly, but when I gained control of my senses, I saw that it was only blue stripes. Phew!

The sweat was pouring down my forehead. My heart was beating fast. I stopped and tried to calm down. Green stripes can sense fear and I knew that if I was too close to him that that would be the end of me. I turned the corner and there he was. He was too far away to identify what kind of stripes he was wearing, but I could tell by the stench that there was a good chance of green. I cocked the trigger under my shirt in an attempt to muffle it and turned the camera flash on.

I stayed low so he couldn't see me. Green stripes are known for their vision. I had to stay low. He paced back and forth outside of the classroom. I looked away for only a moment and then, just like that, he was gone.

I looked around me and frantically starting checking my body as if there was a spider on me. I was clean and safe, but not for long. I approached a door. The smell was putrid, so I knew that this must be his classroom. I sat there for a moment pondering if this was worth it. After twenty minutes or so of crying and trying to win votes (Oh, how did that get in there?), I decided that if I didn't do this then 고's and my kids would be living in fear of green stripes or even worse, they might even cross-over and wear green stripes themselves. I had a duty to stop this. At least I had to try.

I backed up a few steps and took one last look at the door.

"This is for you, 고!!!" I screamed as I ran towards the door.

My life was flashing before my eyes, but it was not my past, but my future. This confused me because popular mythology suggests that my past is supposed to flash before me. I stopped and decided to give the flash one more try.

I changed my war charge this time.

"This is for 고 and our kids!!!

I hit the door with such power that the door flew right of the hinges. The power from my thrust made me loose grip on the gun and it fell into the darkness that surrounded me. It was quiet expect for the echoed drip of water in the distance. I fumbled around looking for the gun, but it was no good. I couldn't see a thing. I knew that my camera was my only chance. If I couldn't kill the great beast, then at least I could show the world its face.

I could smell stripes. I walked towards where I thought a wall was, but I tripped on what I hoped was an animal carcass, but I knew what it was. Finally, I found a wall. I clawed at it hoping to find a light and maybe even locate my gun.

Although I couldn't see it, I knew I was bleeding. The dampness was heavy and think on my abdomen. The cracking of my fingernails on the wall slowed me down, but I continued clawing for the switch.

Then, I found it. My adrenaline was so high at that point that I flipped on the switch without giving any thought.

Right before my eyes was the great beast. He hair was black as night. He peered at me with his empty, black eyes. I couldn't see his shirt. The mist was too thick, but those eyes I'll never forget. It was like looking into a sharks eyes. Black as death.

He didn't attack me though. He just sat there. Staring. Waiting. This gave me time to take a picture and, if I was lucky, escape with my life. I cautiously raised my camera.

*click*

I got the shot. He still didn't move; not even an inch. I couldn't figure it out. Then, I looked at the picture.



It was hideous. It was something out of a nightmare. His eyes pierced my soul and I found myself struggling to catch my breath. I looked closer. The beast before me was not wearing green. He was in purple!

I lunged at him in attack, but it was deflected. He grabbed me as if he was trying to choke me. I was surprised. Purple stripes shouldn't be this strong! As he was tossing me around like I was a pool toy, he paused. Then I saw it.

]

His collar was green! He had discovered that I was trying to study his habits and camouflaged himself. He started to tire and without any notice, I dropped me from his grip and faded into the mist.

I made it to the door, turned to handle and was out. I sat there crouching with my back against the wall and my head drooped between my legs. My blood-soaked shirt was ripped and smelled of the green striped beast. The bell rang and I stood up and limped down the hall.

I hurried because I had to check the New Hampshire totals.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are so funny!

Anonymous said...

Someone has TOO much time on his hands! Nevertheless, you had me on the edge of my seat ;). I loved the ending....what a twist....whew! Oh- I also liked the political slam.

Anonymous said...

Glad you found a way to deal with your frustration and disappointment. Can only imagine what shenanigans Wes is up to in the IRS office in Nashville.