Friday, January 04, 2008


Each candidate has a theme and they mold their platform around that. Many of them choose tour bus songs, but I don't think they are very accurate. So, I will give each on a song that they need to use instead.

Huckabee claims to be the Jesus guy; the bass playing social conservative with backwoods roots and a clean slate. He needs this:

And Mitt gets one for his handsome look that he so desperately hopes gives him an advantage. I think it might be too much though.

If only he was too sexy for Mormonism...

McCain likes to tout the fact that he was in Vietnam and has impeccable foreign policy credentials. So, let's bring him back and let him remember what war was like. I'm sure it will do well with all the homeless vets.

Richardson is the governor from Arizona and loves to bring up his race indirectly, so why not showcase it and see where is can take him?

To our older Tennessee candidate, Fred Thompson. McCain has him beat somehow, but I couldn't resist. The video says it all.

Edwards, our populist and working man. He is the working class hero that happens to be a multi-millionaire attorney, but still. He's not bad though.

And then there's Hillary. The first she-male, I mean woman, who has a chance to be president. She has the "experience to lead"... somewhere.

Rudy Giuliani is the only man to personally drink the blood of terrorists. He's so tough that he doesn't even need the love of his family. He also might be the first GOP candidate who gets laid (if you don't count all the congressional pages and airport bathrooms). So, to our conservative base that thinks this man is a family man, here's a song for his previous lovers and wives (one of which was his second-cousin). Keep it up, Rudy!

Of course, I have left one man out. The best man for the job. The man I trust and apparently so does Iowa. He can do it. As he says, "Out of this long political darkness, a brighter day will come." I truly believe that we can wake up from history and change the world. Barack will do it and finally we are watching the world wake up from history!


Oncle Jean said...